Fisher, Ury, Lockley, and Rohn Were All Right

This wasn’t about big money. It was about applying the method properly.

I had a negotiation coming up — small scale, modest stakes — but a rare opportunity to test principled negotiation in real conditions. So I did my homework. Around eight hours of preparation: analyzing the offer, planning the approach, mapping priorities.

I followed Fisher and Ury’s framework step by step:

• Separate the people from the problem
• Focus on interests, not positions
• Invent options for mutual gain
• Insist on objective criteria

Early conclusion: the offer was already fair. But I pressed on — this was training ground.

I found a few cracks. Minor leverage points. Trade-off opportunities. Enough to work with.

Then came the actual discussion. And the offer turned out to be even more fair than I’d assumed. I was losing ground. At that point, saying YES would have been perfectly reasonable.

But I’d prepared for eight hours. And then Lockley’s voice came back: just ask. And Rohn’s: ask for what you want — nicely, but ask.

So I asked. For a better price. With a BATNA I wasn’t even confident in.

The other side grimaced. I felt the relationship strain for a moment.

That’s when I shifted. Instead of defending a position, I revealed the interest behind it: constraints, obligations, the need to optimize. I even mentioned considering a smaller scope as an alternative.

Something changed. She stopped defending and started problem-solving. Asked about my actual budget. I told her — honestly. And she found an option that worked for both of us.

That’s the shift Fisher and Ury talk about: from positional bargaining to joint problem-solving. It only happened because the rapport was already there. Soft on the person, hard on the problem — it held.

Result: ~7% off. Relationship intact.

Fisher and Ury also say: calculate when it’s worth negotiating. Financially? This barely broke even — prep time versus savings. But as practice, as process, as proof that the method works even from a weak position?

Worth it. The experience stays. That’s the real return.