I didn’t read Meditations to become smarter.
I read it to become clearer.
Twelve days. Twelve books. One ancient Roman.
And, surprisingly, one very modern mirror.
The Deepest Question: Why am I here?
It hit me hardest in Book VI, point 40 — when Marcus asked what it means for something to fulfill its purpose.
A tool functions best when it’s used for what its creator designed it for.
And so… what was I made for?
Not just how should I live — but why was I created?
That moment made me pause.
Because I had always asked myself how to live well, but rarely had I dared to ask:
What is the reason I exist at all?
The answer began to form slowly:
To do good.
To multiply what’s been given to me.
To walk near God.
To serve others.
To lead by example — to be a light.
What I Learned About Myself
1. Action is mine to choose. Always.
Between stimulus and reaction, there is a decision.
Aurelius echoed what Viktor Frankl would later say nearly 2,000 years later —
“Remove your judgment, and the harm is gone.”
I realized I don’t have to let events disturb me. It’s my call.
2. I am a part of something vast. And small.
I was given a tiny portion of time — a speck of the infinite.
No time to waste.
No time to sleepwalk through life.
I want to live, serve, act.
3. I see the weight of goodness — but also its cost.
Marcus spoke often of kindness. Of choosing forgiveness.
Of meeting cruelty not with outrage, but with understanding.
I see the power in that. I really do.
But it’s not easy. It’s not natural.
It’s something I can admire — maybe even aim toward —
but I don’t pretend it’s a switch I can flip.
It’s a kind of goodness that requires strength most of us rarely access.
And yet… it feels like the right direction.
4. I’m not finished yet.
Knowledge isn’t enough.
It must become action.
As I wrote in my own words:
“From knowledge to action is the hardest road.
Many know they shouldn’t drink. Few stop.
Many know they should eat less. Few do.
And I — I know how I want to live.
Now I must choose to live that way.”
Twelve Books, Twelve Days
I gave myself twelve days to read the Meditations — one book each day. Some hit harder than others, but all left a mark. Here’s how each one stayed with me:
- Book II: a reminder that life is short — painfully short — so wasting it is the greatest tragedy.
- Book III: live by principles.
- Book IV: full of wisdom, and surprising alignment between Marcus and me.
- Book V: praise of work, even in nature. Bees. Ants. Purpose.
- Book VI: the deepest one — pushed me to reflect on the very purpose of life.
- Book VII: slower, but echoes of Frankl made it memorable.
- Book VIII: the wisdom of contrast — others have suffered more, and they endured.
- Book IX: a critique of prayer that hit me like lightning.
- Book X: made me realize how much of my life is “checklist thinking.”
- Book XI: radical kindness — the kind that Jesus taught.
- Book XII: peace. A man ready to let go.
What Changed in Me
Something subtle shifted.
I began to measure myself not just by strength or discipline — but by inner alignment.
I started asking:
- Am I letting petty things enter my mind?
- Am I judging others too quickly?
- Am I living as if I could die today — and still be proud of my choices?
The journey with Marcus wasn’t about collecting wisdom.
It was about removing what’s in the way of it.
Final Thought
I’ve read a lot of books.
But few have demanded so much honesty.
Marcus didn’t give me new ideas.
He gave me permission to become the man I already glimpsed inside myself.
“Do not expect that bad people should not do bad things.
It is madness to think otherwise.”
— Book XI, Rule 10
He forgave the world. And held himself to a higher standard.
That… I want to live like that.